Andrea's Guide to Airport Etiquette

I'm sitting in the Dallas airport right now en route to Columbia, South Carolina for the 2009 North American Society for Sport Management (NASSM) Conference. My flight from San Francisco to Dallas triggered some of my biggest airport pet peeves, so I decided to use my hour-long layover as an opportunity to put them in writing.

Basically what happened on my flight was the guy in front of me laid his seat back alllll theeee waaaay the minute he got on the plane. This was before takeoff, mind you. I was thinking, "Oh no, I'm in for a long flight with this guy!" It was a three-and-a-half hour flight. So I kneed him a few times and he put the seat up. I thought that might have given him the hint that I wasn't going to put up with his seat being all the way back the entire flight, but no. As soon as we were allowed to put our seats back during the flight, he put his back, but not all the way. In order to keep his seat at that position and not back further I strategically had a knee against the seat back at all times....until the drink cart came around. "Should I get something and risk him putting the seat back???" I wondered. In the end my thirst won out and I did indeed get some water. BAD MOVE. He saw his opening and seized it! The next thing I knew he was all the way back. I sighed as loud as I could, whispered "Are you kidding me???" under my breath, then proceeded to try the old cough and sniffle routine, but it was all to no avail. This guy wasn't budging. I placed a few more strategic knees in the back of the seat as a last-ditch effort but in the end "Don Juan" as I called him in my head (you know the type....greased back hair, checking out the stewardess every time she walked by) won out.

Now, on to my rules of airport etiquette. Here goes...

1) When going through security, give the person in front of you time to place all of their belongings in the plastic bins. Don't crowd them! Don't start putting your things in bins until they are finished! It is not going to speed anything up...all it's going to do is make the person in front of you very angry. Everyone else is in a hurry too so just relax and give the person some space.

2) When sitting at the terminal, do not put your bags in the seat next to you. That's what the floor is for. When you put your bags in the seats you're just taking up a seat that someone else could be sitting in. They never put enough seats at the terminal for all of the passengers, so don't be greedy with the seats!

3) When talking on your cell phone (either in the airport or on the plane), whisper!!! No one wants to hear your conversation, I don't care how important you think you are. It's just annoying to everyone around you. No need to shout!

4) This one goes without saying after my rant about Don Juan above, but never, I repeat NEVER, recline your seat all the way. It's just rude. The amount of space between a person's knees and the back of the seat is very minimal, and the only thing you are doing is making the person behind you extremely uncomfortable (especially if they're tall! I'm only 5'9" and it was uncomfortable for me!) Putting the seat halfway back is the limit.

5) Airplane lavatories....oh geesh what do I say here....basically just make it quick and don't let any stinkers loose. Save that for the airport bathroom.

That's all I can think of now. Gotta go!!!! (I haven't had time to proofread this so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.)